Technology: A Good Idea Except When It Is Not

In a divorce involving children, it generally takes time for even amicable couples to make co-parenting communication work. In this day of smartphones and parenting software, technology is frequently touted as the next best thing for keeping parents and their children moving forward during and after divorce. But is technology the solution to high conflict it is advertised to be?

In courtrooms and mediation sessions across the country, parents are counseled about effective communication. Technological tools to help couples manage their children and their manners include:

• Email and text messaging give parents a way to quickly and effectively communicate details and decisions without face-to-face or phone confrontations.
• Online calendaring helps families keep track of parenting time and children’s activities.
• Software packages like Sharekids and Our Family Wizard provide multiple tools to manage parenting time, finances and other arrangements.

While the discreet distance, structure and documentation provided by technology helps most, these methods can also sustain dysfunction and conflict between parents in the following ways:

• Angry, persistent emails if one partner is not in agreement
• Failure to use agreed-upon technology, requiring the other party to personally contact the errant spouse for information
• One parent drawing out scheduling, financial and other discussions

In high-conflict matters, electronic tools sometimes provide different weapons and a once-removed battleground to continue the conflict that led them to technology in the first place.

In all cases, technology can be used to provide evidence in court — reams of it. If you have persistent difficulties navigating a shared parenting arrangement in Houston, seek experienced legal advice.